TAPIRS have a long prehensile snout-upper lip combination that moves in any direction and is quite muscular. A little-published fact known today by few other than zookeepers is that a male tapir possesses the ability to self-fellate, much better than dogs, another example of self-fellating species. Tapirs also masturbate in the same manner as do their relatives the horses, aiding and abetting the proclivity to self-fellate. The astonishing length of the tapir penis leaves absolutely no question of its ability to service itself orally, at will:「Tapirs look something like pigs with trunks, but they are actually related to horses and rhinoceroses. This eclectic lineage is an ancient one—and so is the tapir itself. Scientists believe that these animals have changed little over tens of millions of years. Tapirs have a short prehensile (gripping) trunk, which is really an extended nose and upper lip. They use this trunk to grab branches and clean them of leaves or to help pluck tasty fruit.」
[ https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/facts/tapirs 2023-05-17 ]
「Beast, animal that never occurs」is the GIANT TAPIR:「Giant tapir (Megatapirus augustus) is an extinct tapir that lived in southern China and Vietnam. It appeared during the Middle Pleistocene and survived until about 4,000 years ago in China. It was larger than modern tapirs, being 2.1 metres (6.9 ft) long and 0.9 metres (3.0 ft) tall at the shoulders, and may have weighed up to 500 kilograms (1,100 lb).」
[ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megatapirus 2013-09-10 ]
A TAPIR is a「large browsing mammal, similar in shape to a pig, with a short, prehensile snout. …Tapirs have brown eyes, often with a bluish cast to them, which has been identified as corneal cloudiness [eye membrane see-through impairment]…. [T]apirs often wallow in mud pits, which also helps to keep them cool and free of insects [seem to be idiots]. …Tapirs will spend many of their waking hours foraging along well-worn trails, snouts to the ground in search of food. …Tapirs are largely nocturnal and crepuscular [active beginning at sunset]…」
[ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tapir 2013-09-10 ]
Without a doubt, the Irish also have knowledge of their own to pass along in these trying times:「Masturbation will not spread coronavirus, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after.」Nonetheless and regrettably, unlike in dynastic China, it must be undertaken alone to truly be a preventative countermeasure but still achieve the desired result with some degree of safety.
[ https://www.sexualwellbeing.ie/sexual-health/sex-and-coronavirus/ 2020-03-31 ]
The Dutch, too have the same solution—it seems masturbation has become mainstream in the media the world over due to the coronavirus (it has always been 'the main stream' in reality, albeit covertly for most folks):
「'Don't have sex with your partner if they have been isolated because of (suspected) coronavirus infection,' the RVIM says. 'Sex with yourself or with others at a distance is possible (think of telling erotic stories, masturbating together).'」
[ https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/15/dutch-official-advice-to-single-people-find-a-sex-buddy-for-lockdown-coronavirus 2020-05-16 ]
Needless to point out perhaps, but Chinese shamans from antiquity hit upon the same solution as a pandemic preventative countermeasure, honed for ultimate client satisfaction by utilizing naked females with no-longer-integrated feet as masturbatory sex buddies available for short-term rental with erotic visualization of live prepubescent female genitalia engaging in autoerotic stimulation herself, as a solution to the same problem facing us now, but in pre-Internet days.

External source definitions …excluding politically incorrect concepts and other meanings deemed offensive today; may include extended definitions, euphemisms, and mnemonics)
Chinese: variant of 貘
Japanese EDRDG: tapir
Unihan extended: the panther; the tapir